2010-03-27

Four feet should be enough for anyone

If you want to race, you have to pass tech inspection. Or rather, your equipment has.

Some clubs just tech your car, and some check your helmet. Some just make sure nothing major is falling off the car, while others check more thoroughly. Some clubs tech you on the grid, and some won't let you grid without a tech sticker. In latter case, you have to go to a tech line and queue up to get teched there before the event starts.

At one of the earlier events this year my car was waiting in tech line for quite a while before the tech inspector got there. There were two queues, about one-and-a-half car width apart, and I was at the very end of the right queue.

Inspector gets to the car, I pop the hood and the trunk, he checks all the things he needs to clear me for the race, and I go to close the hood and the trunk.

When I close the trunk, there is nobody behind me. When I start the car and put it in reverse to get out, I look behind me, and there's a red WRX behind me.

I put the car back in neutral and put on the hand brake, thus confusing my co-driver, who hasn't yet noticed the car pull up behind us.

Since there's still cars ahead of me waiting to get teched, no space to my right, and not enough to my left to get out without performing a 14-point turn, I figure I'll ask the guy behind me to back out to let me get on my way--and out of his.

There's nobody behind the wheel of the red car, but there's a dude standing not too far from it. I ask him politely: "Hi, is this your car?"

"Yeah."

"I was wondering if you could back up a bit to let me out?"

"There's plenty of space behind you. There's at least four feet."

Taken aback by such rudeness, I just head back to my car: "Hey man, it's your car. Don't blame me if I hit it." Then I get in the car and say to the co-driver "Four feet! Bet that's how he measures his dick, too!"

The WRX backs up a smidge and I get the car out of there.

Curtain.