Recruiter spam that pretends to be creative

Most of you will know Linkedin, the professional network. I won't complain about it too much, because it got me two out of three jobs in the past five years. Most recruiter in-mail is even coherent, if not always targeted.

Last month however, I got this highly spammy message in my inbox.

Admittedly, I was biased by the double exclamation points and the "3 reasons" subject, ever before I opened the message. However, I invite you to judge for yourself.

3 reasons to open this in-mail!!
Recruiter, Marketing Division at SPAM Recruiting
December 2, 2013 4:57 PM
Hi Alex,

I hope all is well! I have no idea how happy you are in your current job - maybe all is well. If so, congrats!

If you are actively looking or just started your job search, we're both in luck.

My client is a full service ad agency that promotes global brands targeted towards a young adult market. They are looking for a Social Media Manager in San Francisco to own the social and community strategy for a division of one of their newest clients. Your background at Google in Social Media and Community Management could be a great match based on what they are looking for.

Below are 3 reasons you might be interested in talking to them:
- They have a very solid client base of well-known brands
- Opportunity to work with other members on the same account
- Great culture and leadership - everyone who works there loves it and they are about to move to a brand new office in SF!

If you aren't a good fit, do you know anyone who would want to hear about this opportunity?


Considering that at the time I got this message, I've only had my new job at Google for 4 months, and it is fairly widely known that Google is not a sucky place to work; knowing all this, you'd think the spammer would be able to make an assumption about "how happy I am in [my] job." I mean, how bad does it have to be for someone to want to jump ship mere four months into a new role?

I felt waves of snark wash over me, and could not resist. Here is what I wrote back.

Here are top 3 reasons I will neither work with you to find my next job nor forward your request further: 

3. The position is with an agency, and I have no experience (or desire) to work for one. 
2. The position you are recruiting for is significantly below my qualification, and also not quite aligned with my current specialization in community building. 
1. You sent me a generic email, not personalized in any way, which tells me that I will not get any individualized treatment as your client, and neither will my qualified friends. 

I'd like to say that I appreciate the thought, but I'm afraid you wasted no such thing on me. 


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